Throughout life we all have those moments that are milestones. They can be positive like finding a life partner, starting a family, school choice, or beginning a new career. They can be tragic, loss of a loved one, or in my case, a major medical issue. I got to face mortality directly the middle of July 2019. A series of blood clots were closing off my circulation system and threatened my life. Had they not been caught by the medical team I was working with on my chronic back issues, and the fast actions of my primary doctors office and two hospitals, most likely you would be reading my eulogy on my website, not this post.
Being forced to lie completely still for a couple days gives a lot of time to think. The night before my procedure I took the precautionary measure of reviewing my final directives, and reviewing the succession plan that is in place at my company. I made a couple notes and sent them out to make sure if I didn’t make it, I made the transition for my loved ones for life without me as smooth as possible. I felt good knowing that I had the precautionary measures in place for over 10 years should I ever be in the situation I was in. The plan gets updated every few years, but there has always been one in place.
Life is going to be a little different, I have a new medical protocol to adhere to, and the future is a little more unpredictable, especially until it is sorted out why I ended up with such severe clotting. It was interesting evaluating my life laying there. At one point thinking did I make enough of a positive impact on people? Have I done enough to be a good person? Every one of us feel we can always do more. How do I measure if was a success? For me I decided, did I use the values I say I believe in to guide the direction of my life in the moments I was making key decisions? Did I leave those around me feeling better about themselves and help them create a better life? The Answer is not 100% yes, there were plenty of times I lost my temper or just walked away from a situation knowing it was handled wrong. Overall though, I was at peace that if the end was here, my intent was known to those around me.
With life comes so much sadness and pain. No matter how much a person tries it seems life finds a way to throw roadblocks in front of the best laid plans. I believe though, those moments give us the ability to really experience true joy at other points. When I am gone I hope my legacy is, I created opportunity for others to be able to enjoy their pursuit of happiness. For now, I am excited to continue the journey.